Friday, May 24, 2013


Jack say's "You're only as healthy as your colon."

Words to live by don't you think.

Yes, I went and had 2 colonics.

Why? You ask. Well, Kris Carr, Author of the documentary "Crazy Sexy Cancer" said I should.

In my attempt to get as healthy as possible, as I came to find out I really hate hospitals and tests and being poked and stuck with things and nervous, and at the mercy of doctors who shrug their shoulders and go "Huh, that's really strange, I've never seen that before," I made a list of things to do for myself.

Let me back up a little bit. Colon health is something that's very serious.

Years ago my brother had an issue with constipation and he became extremely ill. He spent days in the hospital drinking mineral oil and getting colonics to clear out his system.

This not only freaked me out, it also prompted our Dad to quiz each of us each and every morning for years. 

"Did you go to the bathroom today?" He'd ask, often ambushing us outside the bathroom door.

"Yes, Dear Lord Above Quit Asking Us!!!" Was what we wanted to say.

So, alright, now I will tell you about my experience. I'm going to try to keep this classy.

I went in and met Jack, who is a very nice man who calls people "Kiddo" and "Sweetie."

My dear friend and associate, Arlene was like "Who is this guy? What are his credentials? Is he certified in anything? Is he a licensed medical professional?"

"Well," I said, "If you must know, he took a 2 day course on how to give colonics and he also is a musician who toured with the one and only Miss Dolly Parton."

That was good enough for me. :)

So, I went into my appointment, so excited.

You undress from the waist down and lay on the table.

Jack then has you turn on your side, and puts a tube up your butt.

While you are laying down, trying not to be mortified, you have a TV screen in front of you that is going to show everything leaving your lower intestine during this process.

He slowly starts the warm water that enters through the tube into your colon.

He told me that once the colon is full of water, I will have a sensation that I have to go to the bathroom.

He said to give him a sign once I had that feeling and then he'd reverse the water to drain back through the tube and you can watch this take place on the TV.

Here was my sign for him to reverse the process.

I would simply say "Jack, it feels like I have to go to the bathroom!" And he would say "Ok Sweetie."

So, this went on for several minutes and all of the water that drained out of me was clear.

Clear, clear, clear water.

I was kind of dissapointed because I wanted to be cleaned out.

Turns out I'm already pretty clean.

A few days later, I did have another colonic, just to see if the first one was a fluke and it was clear again.

Even Jack was like "Ok, you're done Kiddo."

I think he was disappointed as well.

However, I did force one of my good friends to make an appointment.

To protect her anonymity, I will call her Penelope Bon Jour.

I knew for a fact that Penelope has very unhealthy and sparse bowel movements so I pressured her to go in and get this done.

Penelope's experience was very different than mine.

She has over 40 years of impactions lodged inside her large intestine, coupled with years of suffering with stomach cramps and issues.

She paid for 10 colonics and currently has completed 5.

So much debris has come out of her system.

I asked her to describe it to me.

This is what she said, brace yourself.

Her poop was very dark brown, almost black and smelled really bad, worse than anything she ever smelled.

Then she eliminated matter that was grey, almost like ash.

At some point, the matter was green and yellow, as in infection.

She said she is feeling better and has more energy than ever.

I'll keep you posted with updates on Penelope.

I don't know if I have inspired you at all to go have a colonic. It may be what you need, or not.

I just know that sometimes I am flicking through the channels on TV and if I land on Dr. Oz, I look at his audience members and I find myself guessing when the last time each of them went to the bathroom.

I don't know, they just all look stopped up to me.

Here is a link you may find helpful, for more information.

Anyway, have a wonderful and blissful evening my loves. :)

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